Resources For Late Discovery Adoptees

As a followup to my previous post, here are some resources for late discovery adoptees (those who discover their adopted status as adults).


  1. I’ve known for as long as I can remember that I was adopted. How much more horrible it would have been to find out as an adult. Just wrong.

  2. I am a birth mother. I was told that I would never know who had adopted my baby (translates into – I will never be able to find her, no matter how much I want to.) I was also told that, just to make it “fair” the adoptive family would not know who I was either! My only comfort, as I was longing for reunion with my child from the moment of her birth, was that in England, she would have access to my identity when she was 18 if she requested it.

    As her adoptive mother had told her I would never want anything to do with her, she never searched. Going crazy with grief and pain I spent much time and money tracing her when she was 23. She was overjoyed to be found (her adoptive parents were not). To my fury, I discovered that her parents had had my identity all along. There was no reason they could not have at least let me know my child was alive and no reason she could not have traced me easily as my mother still lives at the same address. There was no fairness for me as birth birth mother in any of this! Protecting me???? **** ****

  3. I’m at a loss for what to say. It’s unconscionable that this even happens.

    Good to know there are resources for when it does, though.


  4. http://Anonymous says

    Just found this site and read the article, “Are You Sure …” and find it hard to believe you have never encountered a LDA who wished he/she had not known. I am that person. I found out last year after someone illegally accessed and divulged the details of my adoption to my birth mother. My parents made the right decision not to tell me. And at the age of 40, I can say with all certainty and honesty that I could have died a happy woman never knowing the truth.

  5. Hi Anonymous, thanks for writing. I am sorry to hear of your experience learning about your adoption, but I can’t honestly say that people are better off being lied to than knowing the truth. Perhaps it would have been easier for you if you had been told from the start that you were adopted. I think all people deserve access to the truth of their origins so that lies like this cannot occur. (Not sure how to achieve that, especially given donor insemination and all the other ways children are created today.)