Spotted on a phone pole right here in my very own town:
WE ARE A LOVING, MARRIED COUPLE PRAYING TO ADOPT A BABY. PLEASE CALL…
What caught my attention is that it was placed directly outside the local thrift shop that caters to in-need women and children. The underlying message: A well-off married couple is “better” at raising children than a single, in-need mother.
There is a crass elitism in the way adoption takes children from the less fortunate and sells them to the more fortunate. What a heartwarming holiday tale:
“Mommy, Daddy, how did you adopt me?”
“We put a sign on a phone pole.”
Maybe I should put up a sign of my own.
I AM A BITTER ADOPTED BASTARD PRAYING FOR AN END TO INFANT ADOPTION. VISIT MY BLOG AT 73ADOPTEE.BLOGSPOT.COM
The sign came down after only a day or two, removed by whom, I don’t know. What’s really depressing, there is undoubtedly some desperate, pregnant woman out there who will take them up on their offer, with all the unspoken hardships that entails for herself, her child, and the rest of their family–for eternity. Does anyone think a mother who winds up with these people will be objectively counseled on ALL her options? Or that an adoptee in this situation, if he or she is even told about being adopted, will have access to his/her records?
There is an infant adoption agency here in town, and no lack of adoption services in the adjoining area. Which means the people who posted this sign:
a) don’t have enough money for the preferred Healthy White Infant,
b) don’t have the connections for a gray- or black-market adoption,
c) have been rejected from the agencies (with or without cause),
d) all of the above.
So they’re going to take it into their own hands and get a baby by any means necessary. I know this tale because it happened to me. My adoptive parents tried to adopt at a time when Healthy White Infants like yours truly were at a premium. Rejected by the agencies, they went with the Good Ol’ Boy Network, adopting me via my adoptive father’s old college buddy, the delivery doctor. They had the money and influence these people presumably don’t, otherwise maybe the phone-pole tale would have been my “Chosen Child” story.
While I have nothing but sympathy for those who are not blessed with children, parenting is a privilege, not a right. Just because you want a baby doesn’t mean you are entitled to one. And this is why prospective adopters have a reputation in the adoption community for having an entitlement mentality. The scariest part of all is that many people would view these sign-posters as trying to HELP. When are folks going to realize that the way to help is to provide support to mothers, not take their children?
There are plenty of needy kids in this area who would love a mentor or friend. But that doesn’t convey the ownership of adoption, and you could end up with some disgruntled teen straight out of the Nebraska dumping grounds. Why rent when you can own?